Translator: OkubyouKun Editor : Fluffthoughts
An event also seemed to have occurred the next day, and Rafael and Lydi have started calling each other by their names before I noticed.
Because my previous existence was my brother’s regret, I don’t remember the events with Rafael.
I guess it would be strange for me to ask if something happened, huh?
[It’s no longer painful to walk a long distance, isn’t it?]
[It’s thanks to you.]
In this way, Rafael has joined us in my rehabilitation in the courtyard during the night.
Since it won’t count as a rehab if he puts his arm around my waist, he’s now leading me while holding my hand.
There doesn’t seem to be anything different as I look at Rafael half a step from behind.
Of course it’s normal.
Just because he got in contact with Lydi, it’s not like a change will immediately occur.
Will he…. start to change?
So Rafael also noticed that girls are better after all….
Either way, a man like me can’t be with Rafael….
Wait, what on earth am I thinking!
[What’s wrong? If you want to kiss then we can stop for a bit.]
[I, I never said anything like that!]
[I want to do it, though.]
[Wai -?! Mph]
I was hugged and my lips were sealed.
It was in an instant, but my temperature immediately shot up.
[Stupid, what if someone sees us?]
[This spot is hidden so don’t worry.]
[Isn’t it fine to stay for a while?]
It’s not like we’re in a hurry. Is what he said as he starts caressing my back gently.
My stiffened body loosened from the transmitted heat, and I entrusted my body to Rafael.
[Haven’t you been feeling unwell since yesterday?]
[That’s not true.]
It looks like Rafael noticed my unusual behavior.
I wonder if he found out that I’m concerned about Lydi.
[If there’s nothing, then good. The environment( or circumstances?) has also changed.]
[Yeah, I’m okay. Thanks for worrying about me.
Rafael is looking at me in a close distance with a kind face.
That’s why I also got distracted, but Rafael suddenly drove me to a nearby wall.
[….. Even with this, I’m pretty much holding myself back.]
*Haa*, his hot breath hits my cheek.
Although we often kiss, no other contact has been made just like that time in Rafael’s room so a gap can be seen.
I was wondering if he’s gotten tired of it, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.
Rafael’s hot thing that has increased in mass is hitting my thigh.
[I know. I will make it calm down, so just leave it alone for a bit.]
After speaking, Rafael bit my shoulder on top of my clothes.
I wonder if he can vent through it.
There’s no damage done to me other than my clothes. The way he moves his mouth reminds me of a chewing animal.
I was pleased and stroked Rafael’s head.
Rafael stopped moving for a moment, then starting biting again.
I was looked with upturned eyes, and this time it’s my turn to stop moving.
I wonder if his expression looks childish to me because of his previous action.
Without avoiding his approaching face, I closed my eyes and received his kiss.
He sucked my upper lip, and my eyelids tremble.
Just when Rafael starts tracing the boundaries of my lips, he then starts sucking on them(lips) again.
Then he put our foreheads together as I open my eyes.
His face is so close it’s hard to focus on a single focal point.
[You are strong.]
It took me a while before understanding what he meant.
I’ve been told countless times the opposite, but I think this is the first time someone told me that I’m strong.
The air around Rafael changed, and I wonder why as my feelings stir.
[From the first time I heard about you from Bellom-sensei, and the first time I saw you, I thought just how fragile of an existence you are. It’s to the extent that I thought I must protect you.]
Rafael continues talking while nestling his cheeks on me from time to time.
Rafael’s behavior looks like a cat that has grown attached to me, making my heart grow warm.
[But when I heard from Bedford that you’re continuing your research about the Dreaming Illness, I felt that you’re strong. You kept on resisting. It must have been painful, right? It must have been hard, wasn’t it? I was impressed by the you who has gone through all those experiences and still faces the Dreaming Illness head on. You could’ve just looked after yourself and leave the research for the cure to the researchers.]
[I just want to pay back everyone around me.]
Fortunately, I don’t feel the pain that feels like it’s tearing my body apart.
It’s a pain I never want to remember ever again, but it has already become a part of my past.
Just thinking about scares me so focusing my concentration on the research for the cure might just be an excuse for me to turn away.
[I feel that those feelings of yours are “strong”. You look cool while fighting against the Dreaming Illness.]
[Tha, thank you….]
My cheeks heat up.
Receiving a compliment I’m not used to makes me feel embarrassed.
It’s probably because Rafael doesn’t know my abilities, that’s why his words reached my heart.
It was directed not to me as a Dreaming Illness patient, to my very person.
It’s surprising how Rafael was watching me to that extent.
I always thought that the numerous skinship he did to me in the courtyard was in order to get in touch with my being because he just takes me only for my outer appearance and from what he heard at that first time.
However in front of my restless eyes, I see Rafael close his eyes, and the heat that has just awakened has calmed down.
[Compared to that, I’m a coward.]
[I’m scared of being hated by you, so I can’t reveal everything.]
Can that be called cowardice?
If he’s talking about revealing everything, then I, too, am hiding something.
Even if a cure is found in the future, nobody can talk about the current treatment going on aside from those who are involved.
[The real me, might not be to your liking.]
[What…. are you saying? That’s my line.]
[Were you thinking of being suitable to me?]
[Don’t keep quiet, you’re making me lose my confidence.]
I didn’t know how to respond.
[I like Rafael. More than you probably think.]
[It would be great if that’s true.]
I’m bewildered about Rafael’s murmur of self-deprecation.
I wonder what’s going on so suddenly?
Even though he’s always been full of self-confidence up till now.
[What I’m most afraid of, Sheryl, you see. It’s that even if you’re disgusted with me, I’m unable to let go you. And that I might end locking you up somewhere.]
Has there been an incident that made Rafael timid?
Rafael was talking with a tinge of madness, but his face shows a sad expression.
[Getting trapped, as I thought that will be troublesome. I want to continue my research on the Dreaming Illness, after all.]
[You should have a sense of crisis.]
When I replied with my usual tone, Rafael smiled a little.
In the first place, I can’t win in strength by just having a sense of crisis, and even if I’m able to escape through Mana detection, I don’t think I have any place to hide with Rafael being a member of the royal family.
Other than that, when I saw Rafael restraining himself, it made me embarrassed thinking he’s being considerate of me to such an extent.
Because there’s still Noe’s treatment, being locked up is absolutely out of the question though.
[As I thought, I probably really like you more than you think, Rafael.]
[I will get cocky, you know?]
[Haven’t you always been one from the start?]
[I guess that’s true.]
I was relieved when he returned my smile.
I shouldn’t keep on running, and properly face my feelings.
Let’s give our reply. How I want to live other than for the Dreaming Illness.
[Is your time still alright?]
[How about Rafael’s?]
[I probably have enough to go around the courtyard.]
I believe it’s time to give Rafael a reply.